Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts

29 May 2013

dirty knees

We went to the Presby Memorial Iris Gardens on Monday. An elderly duo played show tunes on saxophone and piano, and the music mingled with the sweet smells of all those irises. The sun was blazing and I slipped off my shoes to walk barefoot in the grass. It seems lovely and simple, all those flowers. It also looks like a lot of work though. Now that I've experienced home ownership, yard work, and tending my own little garden, the thought of all the weeding and watering that must be done to keep this enclave smelling so sweet is overwhelming. According to the website "the iris gardens contain over 14,000 irises of approximately 3,000 varieties and produce over 100,000 blooms." 

So, I was- is this odd to acknowledge?- relieved to see imperfections on the grounds. After getting over the awe of the sheer number of irises, and walking a past the first couple thousand blooms, I spied some weeds in a small bed along the side of the gardens. Then, in the brush, I noticed the arch-nemesis of our own yard: japanese knotweed (one of the world's most invasive species). I pull and kick at knotweed, call it names and say its not welcome, but still it grows up through sidewalks and sneaks into the densest of flowerbeds. 

Jake and I didn't realize we were buying property next to a forest of knotweed. When we looked at the house it was hardly noticeable in height, just inches tall, but by the time we moved in it towered over Jake's 6'2" frame. One day we realized we would be battling knotweed as long as we lived in this house. We love our little house, so it is a battle worth raging, and I am willing to kick knotweed to keep it at bay and out of our floorboards (an amusing image, and one I don't believe is that far from the realm of this nasty plant's abilities). I guess this is just the reality of life- you don't know what you're walking in to. One day you have a low growth marsh as a neighbor and the next day it is a 7 foot tall knotweed forest. But, keep kicking at your knotweed- don't let it take over. Flowers and tomatoes seem lovely and simple, but really they take work, dirty knees, and broken fingernails. 

28 March 2013

full circle

circa 2007- leaving Rwanda
I feel like things are sinking in.  Things that I've known for a long time, but have just started believing.  Does that make sense? It wouldn't have to me before a month or two ago.  Then, the sinking began. Certain things clicked and I realized, in some relieving ways, who I am.  Or, maybe I just remembered?  I don't know.  I do know I feel compelled and calmer at the same time.  I love it.

I've been letting my commute be quiet and I feel like I've been working on my soul.  Doing some Spring cleaning, if you will.

I think it all kicked off via a conversation with a college student who just returned from studying abroad in Uganda- the same program I returned from five years ago.  As I asked her questions, I heard my younger self responding different answers than I would today.  It was if I was back there, looking into the future and not liking everything I saw.  So, younger Kimberly- I think she's more a Kimi than a Kimberly, really- spoke up and even kicked me in the shins a little.  Not a mean kick; more of a get-off-your-butt-on-your-beliefs kick.

I'm so grateful that I have family who loves me, a Jake who loves me, and even pets who love me, even with my very rusty soul.  I'm not a nice person sometimes, and I'm a hypocrite a lot of the time.  But, like I said, I'm cleaning out.  I'm trying to let cars cut me off and not get annoyed.  Its not worth it.  I want my life to be rich with family and joy, not riddled with frustration and stress and time spent alone.

I want to play my guitar more. And by more, I mean at all.

I changed my strings tonight.  I had to.  They were so out of shape that I broke one in a futile attempt to tune 'em.  Do you know the last time they were changed? A little over five years ago. In Uganda.

FULL CIRCLE, PEOPLE. I'M COMING BACK AROUND TO WHO I WANT TO BE.

I don't have to be in East Africa to be fully who I'm called to be.  Thank God.

Its sinking in.  

16 January 2012

symbolism, much?

Jake gave me an orchid over a year ago. It had little buds that soon bloomed. It loved my little studio apartment and I made sure Layla- the cat- wouldn't die if she ate it. [She won't. Orchids aren't poisonous to cats, so says my google research.] Then, the orchid stayed. Even past the blooms. Since then it's been a long, lull of green stalk and us wondering if the plant was even alive. 

A week ago Jake noticed new life. Out of nowhere this little, silver-potted plant created new buds. Through a move, a marriage, and long stretches of no water (we're not perfect at plant parenting) it was thriving. Preparing. Growing itself to this place of declaration. 

It looks so different with a flower. 

I'm not sure what this is symbolic of. I'm not pregnant. Nothing out-of-the-ordinary has happened. Auditions for new shows last week and the start of a new semester this week are beginnings, but they're rather run of the mill.  Still, I feel something. That little orchid is trying to tell me something.

Or maybe I've just eaten too many Jelly Belly beans. 
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