#2

Two years ago I wrote about growing a garden and a baby. We were eagerly anticipating the first infantile addition to our little family, the first genetic combination of J and I. I was 13 weeks and two days pregnant.

And now, here we are: 13 weeks and four days pregnant. Eagerly in anticipation again. Now, with a bit more experience in the whole process and endeavor, but none the more experts on bringing a new human into the world (and then raising it to boot). It is just as frightening and absurd the second time around. That is what pregnancyx2 has taught me thus far.

I remember pregnancy feeling as a weighted time in which to reflect and be made better, be made more, for the sake of this new life. In true form, this pregnancy- this tiny presence- has stirred up all sorts of unresolved feelings from postpartum last time around. Two years ago, I was pregnant. One year ago, I was very, very sad. I think these unresolved feelings are the very things that I need to reflect on and dispel for the sake of this baby. This is the way I am going to be made better for the love of this child.

I'm working on it baby. I'm reading and praying and shaking off the past a little bit every day. I want to be a better version of myself for you. 

In lighter and much cuter news: this is the face of a BIG SISTER: