taking stock // 8

making: A baby! It is a relief that the pregnancy cat is out of the bag. Keeping it to myself was much more difficult this time around, primarily because it was physically more difficult to keep under wraps. As our midwife said, you go back to not being pregnant, but you never go back to pre-pregnant. My belly- my body in general- knew right what to do this time around. I think I'm already showing as much as I did about 5 months in with A. Which causes me to to wonder, just how big am I going to get in the next six months!? It is a bit overwhelming to consider.

drinking: Decaf tea. Coffee is a no-go for my pregnant taste buds. I did try the new Starbucks Toasted Graham latte though and it was a nice treat. Thanks Alice for finding an old Starbucks gift card during a daily round of pull-everything-out-of-mom's-wallet.

reading: Continuing to plug gently along at New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. I don't know that I've read a chapter without underlining something and I don't mind chewing it slowly, when I have a quiet moment with that aforementioned tea. 

wanting: A good night's sleep. I've been getting up multiple times a night and trekking downstairs to the bathroom since about the same time I took a positive pregnancy test. I don't love the "you look tired" comments at work. Oh, do I? Why, thank you. That's a lovely thing to have noted aloud publicly. 

watching: I'm not a terribly confident speller. When parents spell things out so their kids won't understand I'm usually several steps behind putting two and two together. SO this video made me laugh.

listening: Alice now loves to yell "DADA! HI DADA! HI! DADA! DADA!" when she wakes up. I'm not quite sure why because Jake is rarely home to get her up in the morning, but it is adorable to hear nonetheless.

eating: We've got an abundance of cabbage thanks to our CSA, so I made "Bounty Rice" this week, a recipe I found in my favorite cookbook. It was a hit all around and I made enough to last for days. 

smelling: Toddler diapers are not fun. Lets leave it at that.

wishing: I'm dreaming that Alice will be potty trained before this babe is born. Potty trained by two? That's not completely impossible, right? I've heard cloth diapering may help and I'm crossing my fingers that its true.

enjoying: Late afternoon walks in the woods as a family. Alice walks too. Well, she mostly toddles to the most appealing acorn or pine cone and then intensely inspects her treasure, while Jake gets the dogs wound up and chasing circles around us. The orange October evening light is gorgeous and fresh air does us all good.

loving: Getting dressed without having to meticulously craft new ways to hide a growing pregnancy. 

hoping: To mitigate anxiety with gratitude. 

needing: Our home to have heat one of these days. In the meantime, space heaters are doing just fine, but I'll welcome back the floor space and be glad to have one less thing to worry about once the whole issue is in the past.

feeling: Ready for the weekend, but, even more so, ready for our little get away in a just two short weeks. VT! Foliage! Warm apple cider donuts and our first night away from Alice! That last point could make me a little anxious, but I know she'll be having a ball with Babah. 

wearing: I broke out my fleece lined tights already. The cozier the clothing the better, I say.

bookmarking: This wonderful blog with thoughtful, beautiful reflections on motherhood, a la: The love you will feel is nothing like you have felt before. It will be foreign and familiar all at once. It will fill you to the very top of your heart, nearly spilling over. The thing about this kind of love, though, is that it can feel heavy. Disproportional. You may feel like you will nearly break in half from the top-heaviness...Though you may never have parenthood all figured out, there will be a day when you will find a way to wrap that love around yourself, instead of being buried in it (excerpt from When Love Feels Heavy by N'tima Preusser).

Alice's new favorite activities include: collecting rocks and acorn caps, painting (brushes optional, mixing colors REQUIRED), and going to the library (free parent-child music classes for toddlers!). So, from Alice, may your weekend be full of nature, creativity and music!