I spent Thursday and Friday at the staff retreat for my new job. It was a rather overwhelming initiation, especially because I haven't yet finished working my current job, and haven't yet begun at the new one. But, their yearly retreat fell not even two weeks before my start date, so I was asked to attend.
I'm glad I did- what an awesome way to learn the culture of this new staff I'm a part of, to learn people's names and find out things I have in common with my new co-workers before I even start. It was also thoroughly overwhelming and intimidating though. Walking into a group of over 100 people (including a staff member who applied for my position and didn't- obviously- get it): I was literally shaking when I parked my car on Thursday morning. I'm shaking again now just thinking about it.
Later the same day we watched the Brene Brown TED talk The Power of Vulnerability (mandatory watching of TED talks? I'm going to love this job). In it she says that courage is "the willingness to be imperfect." She was talking to me (and I was thinking, "shut up Brene, you don't know me").
One of the many things I'm anxious about with the new job is the expectations I assume my new co-workers have of me, and the ones I'm placing on myself. I'm scared I will fail and disappoint. I've told them everything I can do- now they've asked me to do it and I'm terrified.
So, I'm taking Brene's advice and telling myself that this vulnerability isn't weakness, it's courage. I'm going to stand through the shaking and smile even when I know my jaw is quivering. I'm going to work hard and open myself up, and be willing to fail.
I'm going to try anyway.
PS: I'd also recommend checking out Brene Brown's follow up TED talk Listening to Shame, presented after her talk on vulnerability went viral (ahem, over 6 million views at this point).
I'm glad I did- what an awesome way to learn the culture of this new staff I'm a part of, to learn people's names and find out things I have in common with my new co-workers before I even start. It was also thoroughly overwhelming and intimidating though. Walking into a group of over 100 people (including a staff member who applied for my position and didn't- obviously- get it): I was literally shaking when I parked my car on Thursday morning. I'm shaking again now just thinking about it.
Later the same day we watched the Brene Brown TED talk The Power of Vulnerability (mandatory watching of TED talks? I'm going to love this job). In it she says that courage is "the willingness to be imperfect." She was talking to me (and I was thinking, "shut up Brene, you don't know me").
One of the many things I'm anxious about with the new job is the expectations I assume my new co-workers have of me, and the ones I'm placing on myself. I'm scared I will fail and disappoint. I've told them everything I can do- now they've asked me to do it and I'm terrified.
So, I'm taking Brene's advice and telling myself that this vulnerability isn't weakness, it's courage. I'm going to stand through the shaking and smile even when I know my jaw is quivering. I'm going to work hard and open myself up, and be willing to fail.
I'm going to try anyway.
PS: I'd also recommend checking out Brene Brown's follow up TED talk Listening to Shame, presented after her talk on vulnerability went viral (ahem, over 6 million views at this point).
I have two phrases that I say to myself on a regular basis "progress, not perfection" and "feel the fear, and do it anyway". When I make room for my imperfections I make room for Grace to be a bigger part of my life and it overflows to others. This is a great post...you've given me a lot to think about!
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