a little honest whining

In 2004, my brother spent two months riding his bicycle across the United States. Then, he made a documentary about it (you can watch it on his website here). About halfway through the trip- which had been riddled with flat tires, an aching behind, and freezing nights- he suddenly fell in love with the whole ordeal. 

I'm waiting for that moment in this pregnancy. 

It has hit, in little moments here and there, but in general this time around has not been easy. What an altogether different pregnancy. For the last month and a half people have often assumed that I'm in second trimester bliss: less tired, no longer nauseous, openly pregnant and loving life. Instead, I'm still just as tired as that first trimester, now mixed with severe pelvic pain and a growing distaste for being told I'm huge. 

When will people learn that it is simply not nice to tell someone they are "huge?" And that variations on this theme are also not welcome? ("I can't believe how BIG you are.") I have gained a single pound and yet I am constantly being told how absolutely enormous my body is. When combined with little sleep and a searing pain shooting across my pelvis, you can imagine that I've been feeling a bit cranky. Please, everyone, simply say the following to any pregnant women you encounter:

a) You are beautiful and your body is doing amazing things.

b) Nothing. Say NOTHING. This is also a completely valid option.

This morning I did have an exceptionally kind woman ask me if we've taken any pregnancy photos (nope) and then promptly instruct me that we must because I look "stunning, like the Madonna." I can't tell you what a gift her words were. Just a couple hours later I cried alone in a bathroom stall over this damn pelvic pain, but the thought that someone, somehow, had seen that kind of light in me was a welcome buoy. The Madonna? My goodness. I wasn't feeling any desire to take photographic evidence of this pregnancy, but now we just may need to. 

Whine, whine, whine. I know this will all read as whining to some. Please know that I am enormously grateful to be healthy and carrying this tiny human. The kicks that have bubbled in my belly are well worth all this pain and emotion. WELL WORTH IT. Nonetheless, the pain and emotion are honest and real too. So, there you have it.