Dear baby,
This was the first week that I had significant moments of feeling like, okay, I'm ready to meet you. There is still much to be done in preparation for your arrival, but we are almost there and I'm nearly breathing a sigh of relief. Your Babah is coming to town on Sunday to save the day and help clean the house, top to bottom, before your arrival. Once that's done, you have my full blessing to get things going. I want to hold you in my arms and see your precious face.
Almost every day I'm asked "what" we're having- people want to know if you're a boy or a girl- but this week someone asked me if I knew "who" we were having. I think she meant it as a gender question too, but it got me thinking all the more about you. I don't know who we're having, but I'm in awe of you already and I get lost imaging all you will be. I look in my rear view mirror at your car seat and picture you sleeping there or, better yet, gazing back at me. I wonder if you'll like the song I'm listening to and think about how differently we will spend our days once you are here. What a summer it will be, little one.
Yet, I don't want to rush this time. I know that every moment of this process is important and even in this longing to meet you I'm grateful to pause and reflect that it will be so sad for this time together to end. We are connected. So deeply, intimately connected. Just for a little while longer, you are mine. Soon I'll have to start the real process of mothering- letting you go and helping you become your own person, sharing you with the world.
I love you.
Love, mom
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