better together

Jake had a treatment yesterday. This entails an afternoon off from work, a commute into Boston, a few hours for the actual infusion, and then a commute back to the North Shore. Its a pretty straightforward endeavor every four weeks, and it has become part of our routine. We know the staff at the hospital's complimentary valet service. We know the receptionists and the nurses on the hematology/oncology floor. We know the drill. 

There are months when its a struggle. Times when its difficult to coordinate for us both to make it to the infusion appointment. I can't do that night because of class. That afternoon I really can't miss rehearsal. We have plans with so-and-so that day- we can reschedule if we need to (again). But we make it a priority. The BEING TOGETHER is non-negotiable. We don't have much control in the whole scheme of Jake's MS. Neither of us saw this disease in our life plan. We certainly didn't choose for the first line of treatment to fail. We'd, of course, prefer for the treatment to be at a local hospital rather than 45 minutes away. We have no choice with any of it. But we can choose to be in this together. 

Every step of the way.

I know Jake would be fine without me there with him every four weeks. There's not really much I can do to ease that process for him. No matter what, its his arm getting poked and his brain on the line. Just being with him is what I can do. Helping talk to the doctors. Asking questions. Acting as a voice for him when he is overwhelmed. 

So, I was blessed by a silly, flippant thing yesterday. A doctor came to check in on Jake during the infusion. This happens every time, and always includes some chatting about upcoming holidays or recent news. This time, the doctor asked if he could take a picture of Jake for the charts. For meetings and conferences, they like having a photo to help everyone get on the same page about who's treatment is being discussed. "Sure," Jake said. No big deal. Then the doctor asked if I wanted to be in it. "Oh, I don't think so. You don't need me in it, do you?" And here's the blessing- the doctor's response was something to the effect of "Actually, it might be helpful. You're always together. We never see you separately, so it would help some people recognize Jake."

And for the first time, I realize there are already people who have never known us apart.

Love is the answer,

At least for most of the questions in my heart

Like why are we here? And where do we go?

And how come it's so hard?

It's not always easy and

Sometimes life can be deceiving

I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.