There is a winter wonderland outside and more snow on its way in the next hour or so. Our home construction is still in progress- rolls of insulation in the living room, paint trays and assorted tools clutter the kitchen, the dining room boxed and stored in our bedroom, drop cloth hanging to keep construction dust relatively in its place. It is all how we left it, even down to the single dirty glass in the kitchen sink. Kind neighbors and family members shoveled our driveway while we were gone and our dogs had a go at living with an infant, staying with friends who have a 6 month old. The pile of junk mail is a bit more substantial than usual too. Otherwise though, the last week past as a dream. I woke up this morning, in dull winter daylight, chilled, turning on a space heater, and was surprised to see my sun-kissed face in the mirror. Evidence! Vitamin D and non-alcoholic piña coladas! It did happen!
Returning to Saint Martin was a thoroughly wonderful idea on Jake's part. It was familiar, while still exotic and utterly special. All the romance of our honeymoon, with the excitement of a whole new adventure.
Our first jaunt in the French West Indies was full of dreaming about married life- goals for our first year, gushing and smooching and starry eyed. We still had a bit of that twinkling imbued atmosphere about us this time, but with the added bonus of some actual marriage under our belts. Marriage is hard. It can be lonely and upending. With that in mind, we talked about new goals, different kinds of strivings we have for this commitment to each other. We celebrated our marriage, successes and failures and all, and we looked ahead, not just for the sake of the bébé coming in a couple months.
Being married has made us both better people. We know ourselves more honestly and love each other more deeply. I cannot imagine how becoming parents will terrify and amaze us- oh the things we have yet to learn!- but, I do know that the most wonderful consolation of no longer being pregnant, losing this intimate physical connection with our tiny one, will be to see our baby in Jake's arms. I am already overwhelmed with love at the imaging of it.
Our first jaunt in the French West Indies was full of dreaming about married life- goals for our first year, gushing and smooching and starry eyed. We still had a bit of that twinkling imbued atmosphere about us this time, but with the added bonus of some actual marriage under our belts. Marriage is hard. It can be lonely and upending. With that in mind, we talked about new goals, different kinds of strivings we have for this commitment to each other. We celebrated our marriage, successes and failures and all, and we looked ahead, not just for the sake of the bébé coming in a couple months.Being married has made us both better people. We know ourselves more honestly and love each other more deeply. I cannot imagine how becoming parents will terrify and amaze us- oh the things we have yet to learn!- but, I do know that the most wonderful consolation of no longer being pregnant, losing this intimate physical connection with our tiny one, will be to see our baby in Jake's arms. I am already overwhelmed with love at the imaging of it.
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