our garden grows

We grew this watermelon in our garden this summer. We also started growing a baby. Not in the garden though, in my womb. I am 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

I never thought about my womb before. I thought monthly about my uterus, sure, but I feel as if my uterus became a "womb" the day I found out I was pregnant: Friday. August 30, 2013. I had stayed home from work. I'd felt so darn tired for a couple weeks. Tired like I'd never felt before. We're talking asleep by 7:30PM. I chalked it up to work stress and took a personal day to regroup. Mid-morning I was vacuuming the house and felt suddenly overcome by a nausea unlike I'd ever experienced. My toes were nauseous. My toenails were nauseous. Promptly after the wave of nausea crashed in, so too did the absolute realization of why. OMG. Pregnant.

I took a test. Then I took 3 more. Then I went out and bought another kind and took that too. Then I went out and bought baby books and a little pair of baby converse on clearance. Babybabybaby. Once you know you can't get away from the surreality of this presence inside of you. I have a whole new reason to talk to myself in the car now, only I'm not actually talking to myself. I'm singing and talking to our little peach-size child. In my womb. I have a womb and a baby to boot. We're having a baby.

As we've told people it has become more and more real, leaving a place of anxiety and fairy tales, and coming to rest deep in the fabric of our day-to-day. Baby waved to us in an ultrasound 4 weeks ago and there is a little bump beginning to bulge from my abdomen. I have no control over what tastes good. I'm more prone to emotional outbursts and getting ever more prone to instinctively touching my belly whenever babies are mentioned. Its gotten difficult not to tell people. So we've told people.

Our families are thrilled and supportive and kindly providing opinions on names. My mom has purchased pregnancy clothes ("they're so cute these days!") that I've already worn. You wouldn't know they're maternity and probably couldn't spot that I'm showing, so I feel a bit sneaky and under cover clad in them; comfortable like I'm in pajamas and enjoying this little secret life hidden away in my special mom clothes. I've craved orange juice and fried chicken. I'm suddenly averse to avocado and eggs. Jake calls me "babes" now, plural on purpose.

And now #12 on the list has been updated: in progress, due May 4, 2014.