listening skills

I'm only four days through my first week of this new job, but- just as I was warned- it feels like my previous job was worlds ago. Last night I had a mini event with my old job and I realized something by contrast: my new boss is a listener. I mean a pro listener. He's such a good listener you feel affirmed just by talking with him, and not because he is constantly, profusely affirming everyone. In his willingness to truly listen and hear what people say, those around him are affirmed that their words have worth. That's how I feel, at least.

In contrast, my previous boss is a talker. He talks. He's a pro talker. He can- and does- give advice on absolutely any topic. He can talk anyone into nearly anything. He tells a great story.

The irony of realizing this, while sitting across a table from my former boss, was that I simultaneously realized these are the very skills that most likely propelled them to where they are. One talked his way, and the other listened his way, to positions of power and authority.

How encouraging to experience someone getting to where they are, not through rhetoric, false promises, and empty compliments, but through a quiet, calming demeanor and a willingness to hear what people say.