ears to hear

I recently attended a national theatre conference. There were over a thousand theatre artists present, from across the U.S. and representing 7 countries. I felt almost silly sitting in the same mass as some of them- representatives of theaters I have only admired from a starry-eyed distance. Some were inspiring, while others were surprisingly calloused. I left the conference with altogether different thoughts than I'd anticipated. I expected to be inspired and moved- prompted to work harder or differently and wanting to work with all these incredible artists. It's not that I don't want to work with them after meeting them...its more that I realized some decisions I've already made within myself. I accepted these things and am excited to move forward in a completely new way than I expected.

The conference reminded me of why I wanted to do theatre in the first place- I wanted to do it because of the community it instigates, and the power it has to move people to action. [Theatre that fights social injustice gets me more wound up than I can articulate.] I also realized I don't want the life of an artist. I don't want to hop from theatre to theatre, taking on a show here and then flying over there to direct my next gig. I don't want to be speaking into a different community with everything I direct. I never wanted to do theatre just for the sake of doing theatre. I want a life full of community and investment. I want to plant roots and be present for my husband. I want to have some time to garden tomatoes.

So, I'm excited about shifting my focus a little bit- staying present where I am and praying for an over-flowingly thankful heart for the position I am currently in- while also looking forward and praying for guidance. I want to facilitate community. I want to live a life of service. I want to make social change a reality in my community. And dear goodness me, I want to be sensitive to where I am called. My ears are just desperate to hear.