sometimes its worth it

Sometimes work is hard. I get angry and anxious and I just let all those balls I'm juggling topple to the floor. Sometimes work is worth it. Praise God. The good moments- monumental or minimal- keep me smiling and loving and going. Moments like this one a few weeks ago feel monumental. Then there are days like yesterday when everything just fit. It made sense and my place in it was right and all was well with the world. Even obnoxious Celtics fans on the train ride home couldn't upset my rosy view on things. My husband fast asleep when I got home from class? No matter. All was right and good. 

Two things prompted these feelings, and they both happened during our rehearsal "warm-ups." My staff for the current production have to be late every day. They're rushing from other jobs, and frankly I love working with them enough that I'm willing to handle 60-100 kids all by my lonesome for 15 minutes. Yet, this also means that for 15 minutes of every day I don't have enough hands and voices for all my responsibilities. As such, I've been asking some of my older students to lead warm-ups- a job usually taken by a staff member. Now, this isn't a particularly complicated time in our rehearsal process, but it is a vital one. The entire group is in a circle, as many as 100 kids, and we are collaboratively warming up our minds, voices, and bodies (i.e. we're playing theatre games). It also just so happens that my oldest kids in this production are all teenage boys. Precious, kind, talented teenage boys.

Here are the moments, in all their glory: The first happened when the boys leading warm ups called on a younger child to lead a specific game. It is a call and response exercise- a do-what-I-do,-say-what-I-say game- and we tend to get very percussive and dance-y with it. The child they called on to lead it has cerebral palsy. At first I cringed- "will he be able to do it?", "will the other kids judge him?" Then I let it happen. I remembered that these kids have developed a true community together and they have begun to flex some impressive love-your-neighbor muscles. So, he lead this group of at least 60 kids in the exercise. His quirky, jerky movements were perfect. He smiled and laughed, and the entire group laughed along with him. And it was so beautiful. I could not have orchestrated it, and I was so thankful to take part in it. THEN, as if that wasn't enough, the warm-ups ended with the four teenage boys choosing to collaboratively lead a song- a silky-smooth, floating, ballad we use to focus the group and get our vocal cords ready for rehearsal. These four TEENAGE BOYS stepped into the center of a circle of their peers, and together lead this gorgeous song. I stepped back and just listened to all these voices- teenage voices down to the 6 year olds, all singing together and respecting one another.

And that's why my job is sometimes worth it- all those voices, rising together, finding value.